


Far Away

by History_Nerd



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Humor, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Masturbation, Mentions of Sex, Mentions of Suicide, Online Relationship, Romance, Self-Harm, Sexting, because i'm a terrible human, but i really want that angst, please understand, seriously it's mostly fluff, thx
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-15
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-15 04:48:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7208330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/History_Nerd/pseuds/History_Nerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lovino and Antonio met online through forums. Now, they talk on a regular basis. Lovino has even let his walls down so Antonio can know more about him. However, things get a little more serious. I know crappy summary. Human names used. Also there may be self harm and mentions of suicide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N 1: Hello, my dudes! So this is my first multi-chapter fic. I'm excited!  
> But also scared because I'm still in school and really busy.  
> Being a student sucks sometimes ;-;  
> Anyhoo, I can't promise I'll update weekly, for my beta and I are struggling to get this school year done with good grades. Not to mention that I tend to live at my friend's house on the weekends (I mean, he's wonderful, his whole family uses the correct pronouns and name... I love them so much.)  
> But yeah, aside from school and being busy over the weekends, I'm not sure when I'll be able to update this fic. Not to mention that my motivation comes and goes really easily.
> 
> A/N 2: This fic will most likely have self harm and mentions of suicide. I will put trigger warnings though! I don't wanna upset anyone~  
> I must make Lovi and Toni suffer tho.  
> I'm an asshole.  
> :(
> 
> A/N 3: Catherine is Monaco by the way!

**XxX**

_**A_Tomato is online.** _

_A_Tomato: Lovi! I have something super cool to tell you!_

_SicilyPasta: Ugh, what is it? You woke me up._

_A_Tomato: Sorry Lovi ;-;_

_A_Tomato: But anyway! So you know how I told you that my friend Francis went to Paris to meet some family members?_

_SicilyPasta: Yeah. And how does this relate to what you want to tell me?_

_A_Tomato: Well he told me all the cool places to visit! Like the Louve and that one bridge where you put a lock on the fence or whatever!_

_SicilyPasta: The Pont des Arts bridge?_

_A_Tomato: Yeah that!_

_A_Tomato: But I was thinking, that once we get to meet up, we could visit Paris and do those things._

_A_Tomato: What do ya think?_

_SicilyPasta: Idiot_

_SicilyPasta: Of course I'd like to go_

_SicilyPasta: Anyway, I really need to go to bed. I have testing tomorrow_

_A_Tomato: Aww :(_

_A_Tomato: Oh well. I'll talk to you later, Lovi!_

_A_Tomato: Goodnight~_

_SicilyPasta: Goodnight, Toni_

_**SicilyPasta is offline.** _

I sighed and put my phone back under my pillow. That damn bastard. I'm not sure when it started, but we developed the habit of making plans for when we would somehow meet up. It never failed to make my heart flutter or make my cheeks turn pink.

Don't get me wrong, I know I couldn't fall in love with Antonio, since we've only talked through instant messaging but... He just had something about him.

Yet again, Antonio could be some creepy old guy trying to take me away to his sex dungeon.

Okay that's ridiculous. We snapchat all the damn time. He's sixteen just like me.

Jesus Christ I really need to stop getting so paranoid. Not every person on the Internet is out to get young kids!

But there are people like that because some people are seriously fucked up.

Anway…

Yeah, we kinda just started making plans. At this point we've probably made plans to go through half of Europe. And no, I don't remember these things because I write them down in a notebook. Pfft, that would be so stupid and girly.

Okay fine, I totally did that. I've even looked at airline tickets.

I sighed again then looked at the clock. Half past eleven. Antonio lives in Hawaii, so it was only half past nine. Normally we would have talked for longer but he had a band concert and I spent the day with Feliciano. I tried to stay up for Antonio but as time passed by my eyelids got heavier. He was lucky he messaged me when he did or else I wouldn't have answered.

It was nice of him to message me anyway. There have been times when he knows I'm out cold, but tells me goodnight.

Good god, he is the sweetest person.

My eyes started to close again, and with Antonio on my mind, I fell asleep with ease.

**XxX**

I woke up immediately when my alarm went off. It was Friday, a half day at school, which meant only two and a half hours of bullshit then getting to go home. Normally I would be able to skip these days, but alas, half of my classes decided that they would assign tests.

AP classes are amazing, aren't they?

I gave the off button no mercy when I smashed it with the palm of my hand. Why the fuck did the teachers decide to do this oh my god. I was about to say fuck it and fall back asleep but my phone started ringing.

Loudly.

And it was the Mario theme song.

WHY.

I pulled the phone out from under my pillow and answered it with frustration.

"What the _fuck_ do you want, Antonio?"

Yes, we have each other's phone numbers. The next thing on the list was to probably FaceTime or Skype but I wasn't ready for him to see me in the action of talking. That's extremely embarrassing.

" _Morning_ ," he yawned. Oh my god he sounded so adorable. " _I wanted to tell you to have a good day at school._ " There was a tired laugh on the other line and I rolled my eyes.

See? Way too sweet for his own good. "Idiot. It's three thirty in the morning over there. Why didn't you just text me or something?"

There was a pause and I was scared that I maybe ticked him off. God, that was the last thing I wanted to do. Pissing off your best friend is the opposite of a good time. Then there was a small hum and some tsk's of disapproval.

" _Silly Lovi! I wanted to hear your voice, and knowing you and remembering your rant for today, you won't get up unless someone motivates you to get your butt out of bed~!_ "

"Ahh so the real reason was to annoy the piss out of me; hoping that I'll get out of my bed and take a shower after hanging up on you."

There was some rustling and I could tell the idiot was grinning. " _Essentially. Now, can you please get up? You need to go to school~_ "

"Uuuuuuughhhh-"

" _Nope! No groaning or moaning-_ "

"Damn, I figured that would be a turn on," I remarked playfully.

Like always Antonio ignored me for the time being. " _Get out of bed!_ "

"Fine fine." I got up quickly. Which proved to be a bad idea since the room started to spin. "Oh shit."

" _Are you okay?_ " Rustling was heard again - what was he doing? The genuine concern made my heart soar. " _I'll take the grunt as a yes. Alright well, I'll talk to you later, okay? I'm going to try and get some more shut eye._ "

"W-wait!"

What?

Why was I stopping him? What the fuck?

"H-how was your concert? I remember that you were scared that your saxophone would squeak or whatever."

Ah yes. The typical I'm-still-not-motivated-enough-to-get-out-of-bed-but-I-also-want-to-talk-to-you maneuver that was perfected by yours truly.

I heard a tired laugh and another hum. " _Hmm I'll tell you later, okay? You really need to get going. It's almost six o'clock in California, right?_ " He yawned and chuckled. " _I miss you too, you know. I promise I'll text or message or whatever you when I wake up again. Now go~_ "

"Okay fine." I tried to steady my voice and heartbeat. He missed me? "Sleep well, bastard. And you better tell me how your concert went."

" _Of course, Lovino. Stop stalling._ "

"Fucker."

He snorted. " _Oh my_ god, _Lovino, go. You're going to be late._ "

Sighing, I stood up and held the phone with both of my hands. Why did my heart feel like it was falling? "Sleep well, Toni."

" _Thank you, Lovi. Have a good day._ "

With that, I hung up.

I wish I had more time. Just ten more minutes. We didn't talk on the phone as often as I would have liked - and based on some subtle comments Antonio felt the same - since we were often too busy or tired. Winter break was coming up, however, so that meant neither of us would be rushing about. I wouldn't have to worry about Cooking Club, trying to make sure Feliciano wasn't getting bullied or hit on, and I would have some sort of semi break from my AP classes. Antonio wouldn't be busy with his regular band activities along with jazz band. He also wouldn't be stressing out over his dance club and how Femke just _couldn't get the moves down_ and Antonio wouldn't be worrying about going to his dad's house for the break; for he would be with his mom the whole time.

Yup, this meant a mostly stress free me and a more laid back and less-likely-to-panic Antonio.

It would be perfect!

With that in mind, I waltzed out of my bedroom and into the bathroom. I fixed my hair to the best of my abilities (fuck that damn curl of _grossness_ ) and brushed my teeth. Since I was so determined to talk to Antonio earlier, breakfast wouldn't be an option. Which totally sucked ass because I was so looking forward to those pop tarts my grandpa bought.

"Lovino! Hurry up, we can't be late!" I could hear Feliciano running around downstairs. Knowing him, he was probably trying to make sure he had everything and more in his backpack. That kid was ridiculous when it came to trying to get shit together. I mean, is it really necessary to bring three different sketchbooks to school?

Exactly, it's ridiculous.

I pulled on jeans and hopped around my room for a shirt and hoodie. "Hold on, Feli! I'm almost- AH FUCK." I tumbled to the floor with my jeans around my knees. Ass in the air and all.

Glorious.

"Fratello?"

"I'M FINE JUST GIVE ME LIKE THREE MINUTES." I yelled (well if grandpa wasn't up before he is now) as I quickly got dressed. In record time, I was downstairs with my messenger bag on my shoulder, my shoes on my feet, and my keys in hand.

Hell yeah! And the worst thing that happened this morning was falling on my face. Not bad if I may say so myself.

"Come on, Feliciano. We- put the damn cat down and let's go!" For someone who was yelling at me earlier to hurry up, he was taking _forever_ to leave.

My brother giggled before placing Italia - yes our cat was named after the wonderful country Italy and no I don't know why. It's not like some handsome and brilliant Italian named her, no sir. "Sorry, Lovi. She was just being so cute!" He came up to me and put on his shoes. I didn't respond to his comment except open the door and step outside.

The air was so damn _cold_. Sixty degrees Fahrenheit was like hell freezing over! Lucky ass Antonio, he was in Hawaii _where it was always warm._ That bastard better be grateful! Feliciano joined me seconds after so we started our walk to school in the California cold. We stayed silent which was extremely comfortable and peaceful. Feliciano was probably thinking of Ludwig, his awkward boyfriend who I reluctantly gave my brother to. I was thinking about my AP physics test and not so surprisingly, Antonio. It always put me in a good mood when he called me. I could be panicking from a grade or my future in general, and just hearing his voice would make my breathing steady and my mind get less foggy.

Because of that Spaniard I could be stuck in a disgustingly nice mood. Honestly, I was surprised Feliciano hadn't noticed.

Oh yeah. Feli knew about Antonio. It actually wasn't something he found out, but something I talked to him about. I was nervous to give Antonio any more personal information than my first name and age. After talking to Feliciano about it all, he gave me the idea of asking Antonio to hold up an object in one photo and then a certain amount of fingers in the other. He agreed, which after he sent me those photos, I believed him and let him know more about _me_. It was the first time I opened up to someone so much.

But I'm distracting myself again.

We crossed the last street to the school and that's when Feli decided to talk. "You're in a good mood~"

I rolled my eyes and tried to think of a reason as to why my cheeks were turning pink. "Shut up, Feli."

He held onto my arm as we walked to the entrance of the school. "Did you talk to Antoooooonioo?" He was about to say more, but then Ludwig came to his sight. I was free. Feliciano immediately gave me a farewell (seriously it was equivalent to a 'ta ta for now!') and ran off to Mr. Macho Man.

I need more names for him because all of these are lame.

But insulting my brother's boyfriend seems rude, especially because him and I have a truce.

 _Nnnngghh_.

But I digress.

Instead of standing around like some idiot, I walked on over to my friends. Herakles was napping - he probably stayed up playing video games again. It's like he never got off Steam. Alfred was busy chatting up Catherine during some card game. Really, it was like any other morning while we waited for the first bell to ring. I couldn't help but smile though. It was nice to have some sort of normality (and because I was fond of these idiots no matter what I tended to say).

Catherine noticed me first and scooted over so I could sit. "Hello, Lovino. Are you ready for today?" She took one hand from her cards to push up her glasses and fix her bangs. I noticed the mischief in her blue eyes and tilted my head in confusion. She then gave me a small smile and turned her attention to Alfred; deliberately turning her head for me to catch the drift.

She was totally going to kick his ass in whatever game they were playing. Poor Alfred, he thought he was winning.

I only smiled in response as I watched her lay waste to our friends' confidence. Long story short, we were currently playing 52 card pickup. Both of them get so damn animated when they gamble.

"So what's the punishment for Alfred?" I asked as I handed Catherine the cards I had picked up.

She grinned. "He has to take me to the movies and I don't have to pay." Her voice was full of triumph and I couldn't help but chuckle.

Alfred was sulking in his seat and pretending that his glasses needed a thorough cleaning. The blond could be such a sore loser. "Man, I'm so glad that today's the last day before break. If I had to go to school one more day I think I would go insane."

That perked my interest. "What do you mean? Don't we have a week left?"

"No," Catherine said with a giggle. "Today's the last day. Hey, we should hangout over break!"

"I thought you were leaving to go visit family," Alfred pipped up, pushing his glasses back onto his nose.

"Nah, we decided to stay home this year which is nice. I want Christmas with just my parents and Michelle."

I nodded. It made sense, but honestly I wish I could go somewhere over the break. Like Italy. Or anywhere that wasn't California. It was nice to have Feli and Grandpa Roma around the house as we watched Christmas movies, but a change would be nice. I wonder what Antonio would be doing for Christmas break. Did his mom and brother do a traditional family Christmas? Well, there was no doubt he was going to hang out with his two best friends. Apparently those three were extremely popular because they even got their own name. The Bad Touch Trio. I told him that his future held a shitty boy band. Think about it.

The bell rung and I couldn't help but groan. I didn't want to go to class. Starting the day with AP Language and Composition sucks ass. No one, and I mean no one, wants to start the morning with _a fucking English class that makes you want to cry with the essays and Toulmin analysis assignments I swear._

But yeah. AP Lang. You should take it, it helps with the writing process.

Anyway, Catherine and I bid our farewells and made our way up the stairs.

Oh shit.

We didn't wake up Herakles.

Oh well, I'm sure someone will wake him up.


	2. Chapter Two

_A/N 1: I'm back! Hey guys, and thanks for the review, two follows, and a favorite. I was so happy that I took screen shots and messaged my beta ;3;_

_By the way, I'm using my current high school schedule for Lovino, and will probably use the high school schedule I_ _ **would've**_ _gone to for Antonio. So Lovino's is based off a Washington high school and funny enough, Antonio's is based off of a high school in Alaska. However, since I'm giving Antonio an AM activity, it's going to be a bit different than what most people are used to._

_But yeah, I'm back and I've made some few mistakes in the first chapter._

_1st mistake: Hawaii and California are actually_ _ **three**_ _hours apart. Not two. So sorry I'll keep that in mind!  
2nd mistake: I kinda forgot that I wanted to make it the last day of school before winter break, so that's why it was in the story all of a sudden ^^;_

_A/N 1.5: Some of my friends who've read this asked me if I knew what it was like to be in a long distance relationship, so I figured I should put the answer on here too._

_Yes, when I was younger - thirteen? - to when I was sixteen, I was dating someone in a completely different country than me. It's not really my cup of tea, but I mean, if you want to try it out go for it! Just be careful~_  
But Lovino's feelings are somewhat based on mine (but he'll definitely be more rational - I think). Antonio's are also based on mine.  
Their experiences aren't exactly my own though.

_A/N 2: This chapter took me a lot longer than I had hoped. I got serious writer's block, and I've been pretty busy. Hopefully I'll be out of this funk soon and have more time to do things. Thanks for being patient though c:_

_A/N 3: I'm pretty sure this will be a slower fanfic because I like gradual realizations and feelings. Just wanted to let you guys know~_

**Sometimes I miss you so much, I just want to rip you out of my dreams and hug you!**   
_Unknown_

**XxX**

It was around eight thirty when Antonio started blowing up my phone. I was sitting in algebra two, trying to take a quiz when my phone _buzzed to the point my_ _ **teacher looked straight at me.**_

I muttered a weak apology and tossed my phone into my bag. That'll teach him to text me at such inconvenient times!

It's not really his fault, I guess. He doesn't know my class schedule.

Shaking my head, I looked back at the quiz and frowned. It didn't make any sense to me - all numbers and letters jumbled into one huge mess. I knew we had this quiz and I studied my ass off but I didn't understand a damn thing! I groaned and decided to bullshit my way through it. No point in agonizing over a quiz. I could totally bring up my grade by doing well on a test.

My teacher seemed to see what my thought process was because before I could stand up and walk to his desk, he came to me.

"Vargas. Are you done with your quiz?" Ah that tone of voice. Even he was done with the school day. This probably means he wouldn't even count the damn thing.

I only nodded and pulled my bag closer to me. He nodded, frowned when he saw my chicken scratch, then went back to his desk. Again, it'll be okay if I don't do well on this one quiz.

Nono was going to be pissed.

Meh. Place shrugging emoticon here.

My phone had finally stopped having a damn seizure by the time I took it out of my bag. Thank god, it was like it was going to fucking explode. Toni probably was going to based on how many times he was texting me.

You may be wondering how I know it's him. Well, he has a special vibration.

Don't judge.

Anyway.

**Tonio [SENT 8:53]** _lovi lovi lovi i'm awake :D  
_ **Tonio [SENT 08:56]** _looooviiiii i wish i took a picture but my puppy kept on tilting her head when i would whistle!_  
 **Tonio [SENT 08:56]** _i hope you did well on your ap lang test thingy, by the way!_  
 **Tonio [SENT 08:56]** _i forgot that i don't have school so i got up again for nothing :(_  
 **Tonio [SENT 08:57]** _well at least i get to keep you company!_

I couldn't help but smile, which automatically made me bite my lip because I didn't want the class to see me getting giddy over some stupid text messages.

**Me [SENT 09:10]** _Hey there. I was taking a math quiz.  
How do you forget that you're done with school? Jesus Christ, Antonio.  
_ **Me [SENT 09:11]** _I think I did okay on my test. I'm not so confident like I normally am though._

**Tonio [SENT 09:11]** _lovi! i'm sure you did great!_  
 **Tonio [SENT 09:12]** _try to keep your chin up~_

**Me [SENT 09:12]** _Yeah I know, I'm just meh rn_

**Tonio [SENT 09:12]** _what's up? :c_

**Me [SENT 09:12]** _I worded that wrong._  
 **Me [SENT 09:13]** _Nothing's wrong though. I'm just tired and I just wanna go home. It's only 9:13 but I feel like I've been here for ages._

I realized that the bell rung, so I grabbed my bag and mindlessly walked to my fifth period. It was beginners photography, and we were supposed to be doing work, but I was probably going text and read the entire time. I didn't have to catch up on any work.

**Tonio [SENT 09:14]** _it'll pass by soon. hang in there, mi amigo_

Ugh. I really want to go home.

**XxX**

Nothing really noteworthy happened for the rest of the school day. I mean, I took tests in most of my classes, which sucked ass, but in some of them I got to watch a movie. Normally the last day before winter break was really excited. Is this what happens when you grow older? I mean, I vividly remember being excited for holidays when I was smaller. Halloween was always really exciting, same thing with Valentine's Day.

I remember getting all of these feelings of delight, but just recently I realized that they're disappearing. One by one, the holidays start to feel a little less magical. Saint Patrick's Day just feels dumb now. I don't even look for people I can pinch.

I'm scared that holidays are going to start feeling like any other day.

This wasn't supposed to become such a gloomy day, what the _fuck_?

I sighed as Feli and I walked home. Ugh, I should be ecstatic right now. It was the last _day_! Instead I was all meh and weh. I don't even understand why, either. I was in a good mood this morning.

"Lovino?"

I practically jumped out of my own skin. Ah, so he noticed I was having some sort of crises. It shouldn't surprise me, but he was really good at reading emotions. The kid has been doing it since he was first born.

My sour attitude took over and I looked to my side to see his expression to be met with amber eyes looking into my hazel. "What?" I snapped.

Feliciano didn't pay any mind. "What's wrong? You seem really distracted." I could feel his hand clutching my jacket, and for now I let it slide.

Sighing, I continued to trek along. I wasn't sure if I actually wanted to answer him. It was a stupid thing to get worried about; getting older was part of the deal. No point in fretting about it. Thankfully enough, Feli left me alone afterwards, taking the hint that I didn't feel like talking. Don't get me wrong, I love my brother and I'm glad he cares, but explaining something like this was going to freak him out and make him think something big was wrong with me. Which there wasn't!

We walked along, Feliciano still holding onto my jacket, and soon enough we were home. I immediately went upstairs. Being in my bedroom was a lot more appealing than spending time with a nosey brother. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and flopped onto my bed. Three texts, all from Antonio. I couldn't help but blush.

**Tonio [SENT 09:59]** _oh lovi, you wanted to hear about my concert, right? call me when you get home! i'm not sure why you want to know though ^^;_  
 **Tonio [SENT 10:03]** _ah you're almost out of school! told you that the time would fly by~_  
 **Tonio [SENT 10:15]** _lovino, lovino. where art thou lovino?_

"Pfft," I chuckled. Such a fucking _dork._ Oh man, he always entertained me though. I grabbed a pillow and hugged it close to me.

Gross I'm being all girly.

**Me [SENT 10:42]** _Hey sorry. It took a bit longer to get home._  
 **Me [SENT 10:42]** _Did you really just pull that Shakespeare shit on me though?_

**Tonio [SENT 10:42]** _lovino!_  
 **Tonio [SENT 10:42]** _i thought you would appreciate my shakespeare stuff. i'm offended :(_

**Me [SENT 10:43]** _Are you really though? I mean, I've said worse._

**Tonio [SENT 10:45]** _nah not really. anyway, can i call you?_

**Me [SENT 10:45]** _Yeah syre_

**Tonio [SENT 10:45]** _syre_

**Me [SENT 10:46]** _Oh my god shut up it was a typo_

Before I could even roll onto my side, my phone started ringing. Man, he was excited.

But I was too, to be honest.

"Pronto?" I learned that Antonio found me speaking in Italian interesting. Which is really strange because I don't even have an Italian accent. According to him the way I roll my r's are nice.

Yeah I don't know.

There was a clang then a woman's voice scolding Antonio. I sat there patiently and listened to - what I assumed - was his mother. Apparently the klutz that is Antonio dropped a pot of water. "Good job," I snickered.

" _H-hey! That's not very nice_ ," he pouted. " _Anyway, I have to set my phone down. I'll be right back, Lovi!_ "

"Stupid." I couldn't help but feel embarrassed. The nickname Lovi sounded so different coming from Antonio's mouth. Unlike my brother, grandpa, my friends… Antonio said it carefully with a twinge of happiness. Gah, I can honestly say I love it when he says my name. It's amazing.

A few moments passed and on the other line I could hear apologies and laughter. I hugged the pillow and smiled to myself. No matter what, Antonio could always laugh. It was endearing.

" _Lovino! Hey, I'm back._ " He sounded a bit breathless. In the background, I could hear his mom saying "tell Lovino I said hi!"

I couldn't help but chuckle. Antonio told him mom that him and I were friends probably a month after we met. She instantly got a bit concerned, but after awhile - and with Antonio telling her stories about me - Ms. Castillion instantly took a liking to me. I felt honored, actually. Since Antonio and I were planning on meeting up in the future, I wanted his mom to like me.

His dad, however, probably wouldn't take a liking to me. Mr. Fernandez was concerned about his youngest son being gay. It wasn't like he didn't accept it, but he didn't know how to deal with it. This always made Antonio angry. The feeling would always flare up once he got off the phone with Mr. Fernandez. I felt bad for him because there was nothing else I could do but validate his feelings. I hate being so far away.

There was a chuckle from Antonio, which made me feel all fuzzy. " _My mom said hi. Oh, and that you looked very handsome in your last snapchat you sent me._ "

"What?! You showed her?"

" _But Lovi_ ," he pouted. " _You looked so cute._ "

Ugh. Sweet bastard.

My grip tightened around the pillow. Why was I so _flattered_? It was a stupid and not the meaningful comment. But the fact that he showed his mom. Not to mention that he took a screenshot - I swear he does that whenever I sent him a selfie.

Anyway.

Ignoring my burning cheeks, I muttered, "but you showed it to your mom. You know I'm still iffy on you taking screenshots."

" _Well you take screenshots of mine._ " I refused to answer. What? He was right. " _Checkmate!_ "

There was then silence. It happened a lot. Sometimes it was nice to be on the phone with him. Hearing the background noises of our daily lives on the other line reassured us that the other was _real_. That this wasn't a dream. There were moments that we feared that things weren't working out too.

We've read many times that the other person in an online friendship was lying. Or that the friendship wouldn't last. Anxiety would take over us every once in awhile, and unsure promises were the only things to calm us down. I don't know how we were going to meet each other. If we applied to the same college/university it could be a possibility.

But nevermind that.

" _Lovino?_ "

"Hmm?"

A sudden pause. Was it something serious? " _I want to videochat you._ "

Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no _ohnoohnoohnoohno_. I would rather discuss politics than talk about this. _Why Antonio wh_ y _?_

I took a deep breath. How do I explain this without sounding all whiny or whatever? "But isn't snapchat enough?" My throat felt dry. I could feel a knot in my stomach.

He sighed. " _Lovi, I think I have a good idea what you're thinking._ " Oh shit please no. " _And I won't do those things. I won't judge you, or think you're weird. I promise_."

Alright pros and cons.

Pros: I'll get to see Antonio's face. See him light up and see just how quirky he is.

That sounds nice.

Cons: I really don't know. I mean, I guess I'm nervous.

Place shrugging emoticon here.

" _Lovino it's okay I-_ "

"Okay. I'll do it."


	3. Chapter Three

_ A/N 1: Man, I’m honestly surprised I’m already working on chapter three! I posted chapter two the night before so yeah. Normally I give it a day. _ __  
_ Anyway! Thanks for being patient with me since I can’t work on this fic as much as I want to. I’m in an online credit retrieval class, my best friend and I really like to play video games (Borderlands 2), and I’m out and about doing my own thing. But seriously, thank you so much! Vielen Danke! Haha studying German for two years really paid off! :D _ __  
__  
_ A/N 2: My dream university is allowing me - someone who just graduated their junior year - apply for a spot. How exciting! I have to get letters of recommendation, fill out the form, apply for scholarships… It’s a lot to do, and I’m honestly kind of nervous ^^; _ __  
_ The lady my mom and aunt talked to said that if I graduate senior year with everything I need (which is going to happen no problem), I have a high chance of getting in. They can’t guarantee a position, but still. I’m super excited!! _ __  
_  
_ __ A/N 3: I’ve currently got hooked onto an anime called Haikyuu!! and I gotta say, Daichi and Suga are so cute. I ship them so hard. Help me, another OTP isn’t what I want D:

 

**I believe in the immeasurable power of love; that true love can endure any circumstance and reach across any distance.**

_ Steve Maraboli _

 

**XxX**

 

Let’s get one thing straight. I trust Antonio. Seriously. After talking to him - I don’t know for maybe a month? - we decided to send each other a picture. Each of us had a demand. For example, I wanted Antonio to hold four fingers. He wanted me to hold up three. You know, all that jazz. Then after talking some more, getting closer, exchanging phone numbers… I like to think we became pretty good friends. Maybe even best friends.  
  
Talking to him on the phone was easy. Sending pictures to him became bearable and less embarrassing.  
  
Hell, I liked doing those things.  
  
But…  
  
I don’t know, video chatting feels different. More open, really. I didn’t want to embarrass myself, especially in front of Antonio. Call me paranoid, but I have that strange feeling that he’ll judge me. Which is absolutely ridiculous when I think about it. Antonio _judging_ a _friend_? How absurd.  
  
That doesn’t really change things though.  
  
Yeah I know.  
  
Whatever though. I already said yes and let me tell you, that Spanish idiot was _ecstatic_.  
  
“ _Lovi I’m so excited! Oh oh oh how should we video chat? Wait you have an iPhone. We can FaceTime!_ ”  
  
God he sounded so _cute_. At this point he was going to be the death of me.  
  
“Yeah we can use FaceTime. Uhh, do you want to do it now? If so then I should probably change…” I really didn’t want him to see me in a sweatshirt. That’s not a good first impression.  
  
He chuckled. “ _Oh silly Lovi. You’re probably fine! And yeah can we do it now?_ ” Damn that bastard being all excited. Oh man though.  
  
Before I had the chance to protest, he hung up on me. Not even saying goodbye! That _asshole_. Here I am now, sitting around and looking at my phone like a damn idiot. Ugh. But before I knew it my phone was ringing. It showed my face in the camera in the most _awful_ angle and up top it said “Tonio” with his contact picture.  
  
Well, I guess I should answer it.  
  
I fixed my hair (it was kinda a mess), placed my phone on my pillows and then _swiped that motherfucking thingy to answer the call._ The first thing I saw was a blurry image, but could hear everything that was happened. It sounded distant, however. Then all of a sudden I saw Antonio.  
  
Good _god_. He looked so fucking _perfect_ and _adorable_ and _handsome._ He had the biggest smile on his face - teeth showing and all. The smile was so big that it made his eyes crinkle just slightly. The next thing I noticed were his goddamn eyes. So fucking green and full of sunshine and laughter.  
  
I couldn’t even do anything but blush. I couldn’t say hi or wave or even give him a crooked smile. No, I blushed instead. Antonio, that happy go-lucky bastard, waved enthusiastically. “ _Hello Lovino! It’s so great to see you~_ ”  
  
He was cooing. Oh my god. I shyly waved back and even managed to speak. Hell yeah! “H-hey Antonio.” There was a bit of silence and let me tell you, it was so awkward.  
  
Antonio could sense this, so he continued to talk. “ _Ah so I might have to go soon because I need to clean but still. We can actually talk and see each other, Lovi! I’m super excited. Oh, do you still want to hear about my concert?_ ”  
  
Fuck that guy. With all of his blabbering I smiled at him. It took me some time to realize he asked me a question because I couldn’t help but admire him. “Oh, uh, sorry to offend you but not really,” I chuckled nervously and messed with my sweatshirt strings. “I just wanted to talk to you longer.”  
  
Could I get any more girly and disgusting? Ugh, pull yourself together, Lovino!  
  
This made the Spaniard pause and look at me in awe. What did I say that made him dumbstruck? I chuckled a bit. “Antonio? Are you okay?”  
  
He nodded but that was it until a minute passed by. “ _That’s so cute~! I can’t believe it. You want to talk to me more often. I remember you hardly wanted to text me!_ ”  
  
“N-no! I just wasn’t used to texting people!” I protested. It’s true! I don’t really text my friends that often. Not as much as Antonio wanted to text. “God, you make me sound kinda mean.”  
  
Now it was his turn to protest. “ _What? No! You’re not mean at all. You’re super sweet_.” What the hell he said it like it was a fucking _fact_. Like he was saying ‘yeah the weather is sunny’ or ‘yup I’m in Hawaii’.  
  
“Ugh just shut up, you dummy.” I laughed when I saw him make a pouty face.  
  
“ _That’s not nice at all_ ,” but I could see him trying not to smile. “ _In fact, it’s really uncute of you._ ”  
  
I rolled my eyes and snorted. “Who says I was cute in the first place? Dummy.” I paused for a moment then shyly said, “you’re the cute one.”  
  
Now I was hoping he didn’t hear me mumbling. But surprise surprise, _he did_ and his face lit up _instantly_.  
  
There was a moment, though, when it all sank in for him and let me tell you, it was hilarious. He understood what I said at first and got excited, but then when he realized _what_ I said about _him_ so Antonio got quiet and thoroughly shell shocked.  
  
Perfect. Now I won’t be the only one blushing. Ha!  
  
Antonio was about to say something but then _Feliciano burst through the goddamn door_ ** _and scared me shitless._**  
  
But not actually shitless. That would be weird.  
  
Anyway, I screamed in surprise which made Antonio yelp and Feliciano look at me strangely. Long story short, there was a lot of confusion and yelling.  
  
Then we all started talking at once.  
  
Antonio: “ _Oh is that your brother?_ ”  
  
Me: “Feliciano get out of my room! And knock next time!”  
  
Feliciano: “I’m sorry! I didn’t know you were busy.”  
  
Then there was silence. It was pretty tense because we didn’t know who was going to talk first. Each of us wanted to, but if we did we didn’t want to risk the chance of interrupting someone.  
  
Oh well. I raised my hand and pointed at my little brother. “You. What do you want?” I wasn’t really _angry_ per se. Just irritated. I was started to really get comfortable with Antonio but BAM. Little brother came along.  
  
Feliciano was practically ignoring me and looking straight at my phone. My back was facing the door so it was a clear shot of seeing Antonio. “Oh is that Antonio? Hi Antonio! Lovino talks about you a lot.”  
  
“I do not!” That little asshole.  
  
Antonio smiled and waved. “ _You must be Feliciano. It’s nice meeting you~_ ”  
  
They then started to have a conversation (and Feli never answered my question, that fucker). At first I was paying attention, but then I tuned them out. Same old same old. People instantly took a liking to Feli. It was irritating, to say the least. Out of all of my friends, I really didn’t want Antonio to get all caught up in my little brother. It sounds selfish and possessive, but I want Antonio to myself.  
  
At some point Feliciano sat on my bed right next to me. I was getting bored. A part of me was hoping that Antonio would leave. Or Feliciano. I don’t know, I wanted to be alone. I was in a pretty shitty mood. _Finally_ Antonio noticed me being sour and cut his conversation with my brother short.  
  
“ _Ah, I’m sorry but I have to go. It was nice talking to you!_ ” He then looked in my direction and gave me a warm smile. It seemed different than the one he gave Feli. “ _And it was wonderful seeing you, Lovi. I’ll talk to you later tonight?_ ”  
  
The weak, submissive idiot in me could only blush and nod. “Y-yeah. Talk to you later.”  
  
With that, I hung up.  
  
The two of us were silent. I was trying to calm down from my jealousy, Feliciano was trying to think of ways to not make me more pissed. But I didn’t even want to handle the problem. It sounded exhausting. I kindly - woah what? - asked my brother to leave, and he did just that. I was so unbearably _jealous_. Which was so stupid of me. Both Feli and Antonio were talkative people. Socializing is a piece of cake for them. So in conclusion I shouldn’t be upset with them. It’s a dumb thing to get worked up over.  
  
If my mind was this rationale, why did I feel the opposite? I sighed and flopped onto my back. This was all way too confusing. I could take a nap right now.  
  
**Tonio [SENT 11:57]** _hey i noticed that you didn’t look very happy._ __  
**Tonio [SENT 11:57]** _is something wrong?_ __  
__  
I looked at my phone and frowned. Now, I could tell him the truth and then have a really long and deep discussion. Or, I could lie and say I’m just tired.  
  
Hmm.  
  
**Me [SENT 12:02]** _Yeah I’m fine. Just tired._ __  
__  
**Tonio [SENT 12:02]** _that’s not true. what’s wrong?_ __  
__  
**Me [SENT 12:04]** _Really Tonio. I’m fine. I’m going to sleep for a bit. I’ll talk to you later._ __  
__  
**Tonio [SENT 12:05]** _okay. sleep well, lovi_ __  
__  
I didn’t bother to reply.

 

**XxX**

  
_I stood  in a bedroom that I didn’t recognize. The walls were plain and white. There was carpet. One single window. All in all, it held nothing special._ __  
__  
_In front of me was a bed, and to the right there was a door. I went to go towards it but someone opened it all of a sudden. At first their figure was disoriented. Then I started to recognize it._ __  
__  
_Curly, brown hair. Sun kissed skin. Beautiful green eyes. A goofy smile. Toned body._ __  
__  
_Antonio._ __  
__  
_My heart immediately started to pound. I swore he could hear it. He seemed lost, however, like he was looking for something. His eyes scanned the room and when they landed on me, they brightened up. Before I could do anything Antonio walked over to me and hugged me like he had been away for ages._ __  
__  
_In short I was confused._ __  
__  
_But I kind of liked this._ __  
__  
_…_ __  
__  
_Yeah anyway. He finally pulled back from the embrace but his hands rested on my hips. Kind of intimately. I looked up to meet his eyes, and I’ll be damned they held so much love and passion and all that kind of sappy shit._ __  
__  
_“Lovi,” he hummed. “I’m so happy that you’re here.” I noticed that behind those wonderful feelings of his, there was something like longing._ __  
__  
_Antonio nuzzled my cheek, which made me giggle. I was feeling so giddy. So so happy and excited. I wanted to tell him how much I missed him. How much I’ve longed for this moment. That I’m happy to be in his arms. But then he gently cupped my chin so he could move my head to look at him._ __  
__  
_He’s so handsome._ __  
__  
_We smiled at each other like two lovestruck idiots. Then without warning, Antonio closed the gap between us. His lips felt so nice against mine, like they were made for this. His grip on my hips got a bit tighter and he suddenly licked my bottom lip. To say I was surprised is an understatement._ __  
__  
_But I gladly let him deepen the kiss. Things got more heated. Our kisses grew more desperate. We were holding onto each other like it was the last time we would see each other. Antonio picked me up, my legs around his waist, and gently placed me on the bed. He hovered over me, his smile soft._ __  
__  
_“My love. I’m so happy to be with you.”_ __  
__  
“Lovinoooo! You have to wake up!”  
  
I sprung up in a state of panic. What the fuck was that _dream_? Holy fucking hell that was way too real and _one hell of a turn on holy_ ** _shit_**. I nervously looked down at my lap and thanked the gods that I didn’t have a hard on. Oh god that would be terrible.  
  
I looked at the clock and realized I had slept for _three damn hours_. At least I felt nice and refreshed. But my hair was a mess. Oh well you can’t have everything.  
  
Feliciano was still yelling for me to get up, so I stumbled out of bed and opened my door. I must have looked a bit shaken since he immediately got concerned. “Are you okay, Lovi?”  
  
I grinned and ran a hand through my hair. “Just peachy. What’s up?”  
  
Shit I was being too casual. I was never like this.  
  
Feliciano, thank goodness, didn’t seem to notice. “I just wanted to wake you up so you sleep tonight!”  
  
Sighs.  
  
Why brother why?  
  
“Thanks, Feli.” I was about to shut my door to finally get rid of this awkward atmosphere until he stepped in the way.  
  
His amber eyes looked full of worry. This isn’t what I needed right now. I needed some peace and quiet and time to figure shit out. That dream was not a normal one. Really fucking nice, yes, _but not normal_.  
  
My brother stared me down. I held my ground. Knowing him, Feliciano would lose because he couldn’t handle the pressure.  
  
In three  
  
Two  
  
One  
  
Que Feliciano apologizing, telling me that it’s okay to talk to him, then prancing away.  
  
…  
  
He really was something.  
  
Anyway… I drifted back to my bed, pulling my phone out in the process. Three missed text messages - aside from the other one Antonio sent me.  
  
**Tonio [SENT 13:10]** _lovi i’m really sorry. i know you’re upset, but i don’t understand why. i have a feeling i was the cause of it though. please answer me back when you can._ __  
**Tonio [SENT 13:57]** _i think i know why you’re upset. is it because i started talking to your brother? i swear i wasn’t trying to ignore you. i could never do that to you_ __  
**Tonio [SENT 15:04]** _sorry that i’m blowing up your phone. i’m just worried about you_ __  
__  
Fucking worrywart.  
  
It’s endearing though.  
  
I debated on whether or not I should answer him truthfully. Attention wasn’t really my thing most of the time. If I was upset, I just kept it to myself. It was still hard for me to show my true feelings to Antonio. If I’m honest with him about this then… I’ll open up more.  
  
Good job, Lovino. I can’t believe you finally figured it out, you idiot.  
  
Okay time to call Antonio. I can do it. No problem. Done it a thousand times. No biggie.  
  
…  
  
I’m a fucking _coward._  
  
The sooner I do this, the faster I can get it over with. I quickly unlocked the device. Doing good. Then I scrolled to Antonio’s contact and pressed call. It only rang once before he answered it.  
  
Wow.  
  
“ _L-Lovino! Lovi I’m so sorry for hurting you and ignoring you-_ ” He sounded so panicked. I hated it so much. He was supposed to be calm and collected. It was normally me who stressed out. This wasn’t like him at all.  
  
I cut him off with a quick shout of his name. That made him shut up. “It’s fine, okay? I get it. Please stop apologizing.”  
  
“ _But I made you upset._ ”  
  
“Tonio.” I didn’t say anything else. He always got quiet when I called him by that ridiculous nickname. “Please. It was me being jealous. Nothing too serious.”  
  
“ _Wait you were jealous?_ ”  
  
I ran a hand through my hair. Well I guess I should just continue with it. “Yeah. You seemed to really enjoy talking to Feli. Not like it’s a bad thing, but it seemed natural. It was hard for me to talk to you so…” I didn’t know how to end that sentence. If I continued it would be me blabbering and spilling too much. No one needed to know that I was pretty pathetic.  
  
There was a sigh on the other end but shortly after there was a small laugh. Not in a judging way, I could tell, but still. It kind of hurt.  
  
“ _Silly goose. Yeah, talking to Feliciano was kinda fun,_ ” he said. Ouch. “ _But! I love talking to you. You’re funny, smart, interesting - in a good way - and you’re so passionate. I love that about you._ ”  
  
Woah hold the fucking phone, Antonio.  
  
“Hold the fucking phone, Antonio.” Haha I amuse myself too easily.  
  
“ _I am holding my phone!_ ” He sounded so fucking happy and not phased at all.  
  
“Don’t be a smartass,” I bit back. I wasn’t in the damn mood. “Y-you said, and I quote, ‘I love that about you.’ What the hell does that mean?!”  
  
“ _Exactly what I mean. It means that I love those things about you._ ” His voice began to shake and it was getting harder for him to speak. “ _I… I should probably tell you, Lovi._ ”  
  
My heart was beating so fast. So so fast. To be perfectly honest, I’ve had a crush on Antonio for a long time. It was small at first, but I found myself getting more into him. I mean _I had that fucking dream earlier_. Was he going to say what I thought he was going to say? I don’t know if I was ready for that. If I could handle it. Long distant relationships were hard, from what I read online. People say it gets unbearable to not be able to really _be there_ with their significant other. I didn’t want us to have to deal with that. Plus, I was scared of getting my heart broken.  
  
There are a lot of reasons why I didn’t want it to happen, but the fact that he was interested in me made me want to try it out.  
  
Well, if he is interested in me. I might be jumping to conclusions.  
  
Antonio took a deep breath. It was shaky and sounded kind of pathetic. I feel it though. “ _I… I really like you Lovino. And I don’t know if it’s completely romantic feelings, but I know that they’re there. I can’t stop thinking about you. Like, ever. I find myself wishing you were over here._ ” Another deep breath, but this time I could hear him trying not to cry because of the pressure. “ _I know that long distance relationships are hard, Lovino, but I want to try. I really want to try._ ”  
  
My throat closed up. I could feel tears forming in my eyes. But I wasn’t upset, no, I was so fucking _happy_. It was going to be difficult, but I really wanted to try. Fuck my insecurities and fears about a long distant relationship. I fucking wanted this. Paranoia be damned!  
  
“ _Lovino?_ __Do... do you want to try? ”  
  
I held my phone close to my ear with both hands. “Yes, you idiot. Of course I do.”


	4. Chapter Four

_A/N 1: I originally started this fanfic right after I finished chapter three since I was doing really well. But, I kinda forgot to take my medication so I dropped down pretty low. Especially right now since I started it right back up. I'm sorry for the wait. Plus, I've been extremely busy._

_A/N 2: I went to a Drill and Ceremony camp that people at my school set up. D &C is a JROTC thing. I was in JROTC last year (junior year) but I can't handle the teacher - super mean to me and he's my school advisor which means I've had him since freshman year - so I'm only doing D&C. I was going to go with unarmed, but after being on armed (rifles!) I decided I'm going to stay on the armed team. It's a lot of fun spinning rifles around and getting to hit the butt of the rifle onto the ground with everyone else._   
_But yeah, I had a lot of fun those three days even if my muscles were sore when I came home ^^_

_A/N 3: I said previously that I kinda lost control over Lovino and Antonio. What I meant by that is that I can't necessarily control how they work things out. I can control the situation and all that jazz, but now I feel like a messanger ;3;_

_A/N 4: Just a heads up, our lovely Antonio will be taking the spotlight next chapter!_

_Enjoy!_

**Waiting does not bother me, nor does the distance that is cropping up between us. All I want is a true commitment and to know that your heart will never change.  
** _Ting Stores_

**XxX**

Nothing remarkable happened over the course of a couple of days. My family and I got ready for Christmas - Feli and grandpa were going to make this _amazing_ ham hell yeah - and I busied myself with making the desserts. Some of our neighbors were coming over or else we wouldn't have bothered to make a bunch of food. We had so much. Casseroles, breads, cheeses, salads (yeah more than one I don't know why), steamed vegetables. Oh yeah, and wine. Can't forget the wine.

Italian wine, of course.

The three of us busied ourselves while we listened to Christmas songs on the radio. Once Feliciano was done preparing the ham that we let sit and slow cook for the night, he joined me in frosting the cookies I just cooled down.

I hadn't really talked to him much since I was busy trying to get presents for everyone. Plus, he was busy with his boyfriend. He looked around to see where our grandpa was then looked at me with a mischievous smile. Hmm…

"Soo, Lovi~" Damn that tone of voice. He was up to something and it was probably embarrassing. For me, anyway. "How is Antonio doing?"

A simple question but I almost dropped the butter knife I was holding. Aw shit now the hat I made on the santa cookie was ruined.

Focus, Lovino, focus!

I didn't look at him in fear that he could read me. "I guess he's doing fine. How's Potato Breath?"

Haha a new nickname.

Feliciano shrugged. "He's okay. Just busy." He placed a decorated cookie in the container and grabbed a new one. His fingers were covered in frosting which made me chuckle. I got a nostalgic feeling from when we were kids trying to frost the cookies. My grandpa had to help us but we were so determined with being 'big kids,' which resulted in a huge fucking mess.

There was a comfortable silence between us, but after a few moments it got destroyed. "Seriously though. How's Antonio? You seem to be talking to him a lot more."

Shrugging, I placed sprinkles onto a cookie. "Well yeah. The both of us aren't really doing much. It helps pass the time."

"Hmm, but I can hear you talking to him late into the night. It's kind of strange." He paused and caught my gaze, his amber eyes trying to read me. "And you laugh a lot when you're talking to him. It's strange."

Well that's nice of him. "H-hey! I laugh even when I'm not talking to that bastard!"

There was only a hum of acknowledgment from my brother so I left it at that. No point in trying to argue. He was right, afterall. I had gotten happier, but I didn't think it was that noticeable. I guess not. I hope my grandpa hasn't noticed though. That wouldn't be fun at all.

Nothing really changed between Antonio and I. We still talked to each other, but it was more filled with compliments. There was also the occasional whine of wanting the other around. Wanting each other around wasn't something new, but now that we were open with our feelings, there was a bit more longing.

I don't know. I really like it though. I like talking to him to the point where we are practically speaking. I like being able to compliment him. It's nice. Especially seeing him blush and getting all bashful. Such a cute sight.

But yeah, nice stuff.

However, both of us were busy today. I fell asleep early and woke up early to start helping out. Antonio was helping his mom cook as well, so he told me, since his grandparents were coming.

And his dad.

I was concerned about this. He was free from him for the whole break. Antonio just shrugged it off and told me not to worry but I knew better. He was anxious about it. The only thing I could do was tell him things would be okay and that he could text me if he needed to. I hate being so powerless though.

Feliciano and I continued to work together, occasionally singing along to the Christmas songs. I don't really remember the last time him and I did something together by ourselves. It was pleasant; we should do it more often.

**XxX**

"Lovino these cookies are delicious!" I looked to see my grandfather happily snacking on one.

I snorted. "Don't eat all of them, grandpa. They're for tomorrow." But I couldn't help but smile. I always loved being praised. It's not like he had never complimented and acknowledge something I did, but still. It was nice for one of your talents to get noticed.

He only smiled at me and I couldn't help but return it. His expression was one of surprise so I made haste and went to the living room. So much for trying to keep things unnoticeable. Feli saw me and instantly patted a spot next to him. The old Rudolph movie - you know, the one from 1964 - was playing. As a kid it freaked me the fuck out. Mostly the Hermey. Not sure why though.

I sat next to him then put some of the blanket he had ontop of me. What? It's fucking cold. Before I could get too cozy, however, my phone buzzed. I grabbed it from my pocket - Feliciano wiggled his eyebrows at me ugh - and looked at the lockscreen with a giddy feeling.

If you haven't guessed already, Antonio texted me.

Que blushing here.

**Tonio [SENT 19:34]** _i finally have a break from all the cooking and cleaning. what have you been up to?_  


**Me [SENT 19:35]** _Mostly baking. There wasn't much cleaning to do. Now I'm watching a movie with Feli, the 1964 Rudolph one._  


**Tonio [SENT 19:37]** _ooooh that one! i love that movie! i remember sitting on the couch with everyone with eggnog_  


**Me [SENT 19:37]** _That is the most Christmassy thing I have ever heard. A+ on family bonding._  
**Me [SENT 19:38]** _Anyway, what are you up to?_  


**Tonio [SENT 19:39]** _lazing around until dinner. i'm so bored ;-;_  


**Me [SENT 19:41]** _Go read a book or something. Give your brain some exercise._

**Tonio [SENT 19:41]** _ooooooooor  
_**Tonio [SENT 19:42]** _i could just, you know  
_**Tonio [SENT 19:43]** _swim across the ocean to come see you_  


Ugh that bastard.

**Me [SENT 19:43]** _Better start swimming. Maybe you'll make it for New Years._  


**Tonio [SENT 19:43]** _if i was would you be my new year kiss? ;)_  


**Me [SENT 19:44]** _Obviously. Now come on, get to it._  


**Tonio [SENT 19:44]** _okay i'm sure my mom would let me. she practically loves you. honestly she's probably planning a wedding_  


**Me [SENT 19:45]** _Omg Toni please.  
_**Me [SENT 19:45]** _You're making me blush like crazy. Feliciano is now looking at me weirdly and probably about to grab my phone.  
_  
**Tonio [SENT 19:45]** _could we have tomatoes? mom is curious_  


The fucking _second_ I unlocked my phone, Feliciano _took it and pushed me away with his_ _ **damn feet.**_ He shamelessly started to look over the conversation. I was so going to beat his fucking ass.

"Feliciano. I am giving you three seconds to give me my phone back." My voice was low and full of fucking _fury._ Too bad the bastard wasn't ticklish. "Give it back!"

His face got all bright and happy as he continued to read our text messages. So _embarrassing_ and _awful_ and so many fucking _pet names_. Please end me, god _**please.**_ Five seconds passed so I pounced on him. He yelped in surprise but didn't give me my phone back.

"Lovi you two are so cute together!" He squealed.

My face turned red in embarrassment and I started to get more frantic. "Feliciano _please_!"

"Fine fine," he said, giving me the phone back. I snatched it out of his grasp and gave him the dirtiest look I could muster. "I already found out what I needed to. Have fun, Lovi~" With that he pranced up the stairs like the gay asshole he was.

I guess I can't judge though. The gay part. Because I'm dating another boy.

Yeah.

Wonder how grandpa would take it.

Speaking of the devil, he walked into the living room, his eyebrows furrowed. "What happened in here?"

I looked at the room, which had pillows on the floor and the blanket we were using earlier. Shrugging, I got up and started walking towards the stairs. "Feli took my phone when I was in the middle of something. No biggie."

I could hear grandpa chuckle, which meant my vague explanation was enough. Thank god.

After running up the stairs to my room, I looked at my phone and read the texts.

Oh my _god._

**Tonio [SENT 19:45]** _oh and we should have the Spain and Italy national flowers. it'll be cool  
_**Tonio [SENT 19:45]** _you'd probably look really nice in a light blue. we should do pastel colors!  
_**Tonio [SENT 19:57]** _i take this silence that you're amazed with my planning skills. thank you for enjoying it. please take your time to admire me_  


I was going to beat his ass. I don't know how I'll manage it, but it'll fucking happen.

**Me [SENT 19:57]** _Antonio Fernandez Carriedo  
_**Me [SENT 19:57]** _Why are you thinking about a wedding? Our wedding, to be specific._  


**Tonio [SENT 19:58]** _oh come on it'll totally happen. our story is totally like a cheesy romance novel, just more gay. there will be hard times and all that jazz but after years of trying, we'll be together._  


**Me [SENT 19:59]** _Well if you put it that way it does sound like it'll happen. BUT I feel like it's way too soon to be talking about this. Let's give it some time, okay?_  


**Tonio [SENT 20:01]** _of course, lovi~! but soon you'll realize  
_**Tonio [SENT 20:02]** _just you wait_  


**Me [SENT 20:03]** _Well that doesn't sound weird. Anyway, hours ago you said you wanted to talk on the phone. I'm finally free.  
_**Me [SENT 20:03]** _AKA I really wanna hear you talk because I'm like 99% sure I'm in love with your voice  
_**Me [SENT 20:03]** _Wink wonk_

I am the fucking _master_ of flirting. Antonio's skills are really effective yeah, but I am smooth as fuck. Like butter.

That's a really lame saying, honestly. "Smooth like butter," I muttered and automatically cringed. I'm never saying that again.

**Tonio [SENT 20:05]** _yes of course! can we facetime? :D_  


**Me [SENT 20:05]** _Ugh fine. Don't expect something marvelous._  


**Tonio [SENT 20:06]** _i'm sure you look amazing. like always ;)_  


Excuse me as I go and splash cold water on my face.

Yeah.

Anyway.

I fixed the t-shirt I was wearing (really old one so it looked all worn and gross) and tried my absolute hardest to get the few tangles out of my hair (and on a side note fuck that curl of mine).

_Right_ when I was done trying to make myself look the _least_ bit presentable, I got a FaceTime call… thingy. My heart skipped a beat when I saw it was Antonio. Well, of course it was Antonio. Alfred and Catherine were way too busy to do much. Hopefully we could have a get together before the break ended though.

I quickly answered the phone, and after waiting a couple of seconds, I could see Antonio's smiling face. All I could do was smile back. He stupidly waved at me and I went to wave back but his _mom came rushing over oh my god._ I've talked to this woman many times (again, she knew a lot about me) but now that Antonio and I were trying to date, _i was fucking_ _ **terrified**_. I wanted his mother to like me.

Which she did, so my stupid mind was overthinking.

But yeah. She waved at me and immediately started talking. " _Lovino! How are you? Oh and how has your Christmas Eve been?_ " Antonio was chuckling next to her, probably because of my flustered face.

"Hello, Ms. Castillion," I said with a small smile. What? She was a lady and every lady needed to be treated nicely. "I'm doing well, thank you. Oh my Christmas Eve? Filled with baking."

Her face lit up. " _You sound like you like baking. Is that true?_ " I nodded, which was a satisfying response, then continued to talk. " _Antonio told me that you and him are dating~_ "

Oh the _humanity_ oh my _god_. I guess I should be happy about that because she seemed to be happy about it, but still. I was embarrassed. Thank god Antonio - who is mostly oblivious - noticed my discomfort.

" _Mama, I was hoping to talk to Lovi alone…_ " It looked like it was hard for him to ask this, in a sense since he didn't want to upset her, but she got the hint, told me goodbye, then busied herself with something else. " _Lovino, I'm so happy to see you._ "

I didn't know where to start. Scold him for the wedding plans (that still kinda made me happy, in a sense)? For telling his mother about us trying to date? Ugh. It's not like I was angry about it, but probably more confused.

"Antonio? Why did you tell your mom about, uhm… u-us?" Again, kinda flustered here.

He smiled, giggled - yes _giggled_ \- then shrugged like it was nothing. " _Because I'm happy that we're a thing! Why wouldn't I?_ "

"Maybe because it's only been a couple of days?" I scoffed.

" _Come on, she would've found out no matter what,_ " he reasoned. I didn't budge because I'm just stubborn like that, annoying, stubborn, and an asshole. Even hearing him sigh didn't make me budge. No, I was going to be the annoying one about all of this because I felt like it was way too soon to tell people. It has only been like, a week. Plus, did this even count as a relationship? We didn't - " _Lovino. You're thinking too much._ "

That made my head snap back to the camera with a fowl expression. More like he wasn't thinking at all!

His smile graced his features, being way too calming. " _I think this will work out. Do… do you?_ "

That honestly made me wonder. Did I? Long distant relationships never seem to workout. You read some of those depressing stories online, realize that it's all the same, then try to make do with the time you have left. My fallen face must've given away my emotions since Antonio's smile went from slightly amused to non existent.

" _Lovino, if you don't want to try, I understand. Please don't think you have to do this for me._ " Good god he sounded so heartbroken. But what was this 'you don't have to do this for me,' shit?

"Excuse you, Antonio, but I'm not still sitting here because I'm doing it for you." I'm not sure where this confidence was coming from - or this irritability, honestly - but I didn't try to stop it. He was being so insecure right now, which isn't like him. Okay yes, everyone has troubles and I've definitely heard Antonio's on late night phone calls with him crying, but he was never this insecure about these kinds of things. "You need to have some more confidence as well, you fuckface. I'm sitting here, talking to you, going on with the whole relationship thing. I haven't told you I don't want to be your boyfriend. I haven't told you that this was a bad idea."

Antonio tried to interrupt me, but I cut him off like a motherfucking _boss._

"I have some concerns about this. You have some concerns about this. But we're going to work this out. We are going to try to be the best boyfriends ever. Why? Because we are both drop dead gorgeous and willing to try this out. Am I clear?"

Apparently I was since he just stared at me in complete awe. Did I take it too far? Did I hurt his feelings? Oh shit was _he_ thinking about cutting this off?

Then the bastard started _sniffling_. I only watched as he rubbed his eyes, sniffling and, what the fuck, smiling? I don't understand this guy at all.

He chuckled a bit, removing one of his hands from his eyes. " _Thank you, sunshine. And you're right. I'm just a bit nervous about the whole thing._ "

I crossed my arms and humphed. "No shit, Antonio - wait did you call me _sunshine_? Is that your pet name for me?" I didn't know whether to be flattered since sunshine is a pretty big compliment for a grumpy guy like me, or slightly offended. I don't know why I'd be offended, but yeah. I don't know.

" _Yes! I think it's cute,_ " he cooed to me all sparkly eyed. " _I thought of it a couple of days ago and I liked it so much that I put it as your contact name in my phone!_ " He was so pleased with himself that I couldn't even manage to get upset.

I could only bring myself to chuckle and grin. Antonio didn't bother to say anything else - neither did I for the matter - so we sat in silence enjoying each other's company. I could hear Antonio typing away on his computer so I grabbed a book from my nightstand and started reading.

Silences like this tended to happen often. Not because we didn't have anything to talk about - Antonio can chatter for hours - but mostly because we didn't know _what_ to talk about. We both have a lot of things on our minds but bringing them up and talking about it can be exhausting. Plus, we didn't really want to sour the mood. So instead we tended to sit in silence.

I looked up to my phone for a brief second and saw Antonio smiling at me. It was a lot more loving than what I was used to. My only response was a blush and a shy smile back. Then we turned back to what we decided to distract ourselves with.

Yeah, there was plenty to say, but it was nice to take a break.


End file.
